So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
