i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
