the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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