Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
