So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
