Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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