Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she smelled like a LAN party
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
