He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
