Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize