I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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