My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
