eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
