Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
