38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
