Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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