yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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