let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
