I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Text me some of your sweat
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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