"it" just moved
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
