He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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