she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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