i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
