So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
