Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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