I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize