sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
