when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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