You work out of a Hotel?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
