thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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