Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
