it was like his penis was on wheels.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
