The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
