saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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