Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
