He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
