I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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