Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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