If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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