So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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