Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
When did angry sex become our thing?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
