You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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