I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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