Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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