I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
the room spins SO much faster in panama
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
