So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we're making bets on your personal life
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
