Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
