I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
