Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
