kristin has been a bad kristin
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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