Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
