It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i've created a new STD.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I need a beard to bite.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
