I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
