it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
