i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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