so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
