Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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