I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
