I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
50% drunk capacity currently
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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