New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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